Not Forgotten, Just .. Not Home

"Knock knock?"
A voice sounded from outside the door.

I was upside down on my bed, clutching a pillow in front of my face. A drained pepsi can stood on the bedside table, and Pocketful of Sunshine played softly from my iPod speaker. The positive words of the song were starting to get annoying.
"Nobody's home." I said, the words muffled by the pillow.

Chrissa opened the door. "Well, its my room too, either way."
I sat up and took the pillow away from my face. I blinked at Chrissa for a few seconds.
She sat down on the bed next to me and held out her hands, hopeful for a hug.
I simply stood up and pressed the off button on my speakers.
Chrissa's eyes became soft and sympathetic.
She thought I was depressed because I missed my sister.
Hah.
As if she knew.

Nobody knew.
NOBODY BUT ME!
I made a noise of disgust.
Then I realized Chrissa was still here.

"Oh.." I turned around. "Chrissa, can you go?"
She narrowed her eyes. "Fine, if you want it that way."

I stood still, frozen, until she had closed the door behind her.

Then I ran back to my bed, clutched my pillow, and started bawling.


-Erin

Word of the Day: FURIOUS

I'm searching for a word.....

What could this word be?

Oh, found it.

FURIOUS.

I'm furious about MANY many things.

I guess this will just be a furious post.

Firstly, ERIN HAS NOT POSTED IN FOREVER. We PROMISED that we would post as often as we could!

Me, I've just been to furious to post.

I am disappointed in her! SHAME ON YOU, ERIN LILLY VIOLET.

Since I haven't posted in a while, I'll shame myself, too.

SHAME ON YOU, GRACELYNNE MARGARET ROSE.

Much better.

Secondly, I'm furious because LANIE IS FORGETTING OUR SPECIAL BONDEDNESS D:

It's like Ruthie arriving has made her totally blind to me, us, and our friendship.

"Hey Lanie!" I asked on Wednesday, peeking into her bedroom. "Wanna go to the movies? We can go see Eat Pray Love."

"Not today, Gracelynne. Ruthie and I had plans to go see Eat Pray Love this evening." Lanie said, as she transplanted her dracena into a larger pot, not even looking up to acknowledge me.

"Can we go together?" I asked, a bit discouraged.

"Ruthie only got two tickets. Now LEAVE! Your negative energy is troubling my african violets!" Lanie shooed me out of her shared room.

I sighed and stepped into the dressing room.

Later that day, I went to go see Eat Pray Love. By myself.

"Lanie, you want to go to the park? We can play by the fountain and eat lunch together." I asked while she flicked through the channels on the televison.

"Umm.....Ruthie and I were going to go shopping at the mall and get lunch there." Lanie said, like she was trying to decline me nicely.

"Can I come?"I said, trying not to side too rude.

"No! Ruthie and I were going to go ALONE! Now leave! I'm just about to find out who falls below the yellow line!" Lanie shouted, as the DVR recording of a re-run of "The Biggest Loser" returned from the commerical break.
Later that day, I went to the park and played by the fountain and ate lunch. Alone. And it wasn't as fun as it would have been with Lanie.

Finally, today, I went up to her while she was on YouTube.

"Lanie..? You want to play on Erin's InnerstarU? We can finish that project we started working on." I suggested.

"No, no, now shhh. This is the funny part." I waited a minute, then Lanie burst out laughing. I saw no humor.

I hit the Escape button and her YouTube page vanished.

"Hey!" Lanie yelled, looking at me in the face for the first time in three days.

"Lanie, what is with you? We haven't hung out in three days and you've been ditching me for Ruthie!" I said, angrily.

"You're just jealous because I'm making friends with Ruthie and you're not!" Lanie argued.

"I am not!"

"You are too!"

"Lanie, you're my best friend! I like hanging out with you and I like being friends with you! It's just that, well, I miss you!" I argued back.

"Maybe I want more friends! Maybe I was getting bored of you and wanted more!" Lanie said, her voice lashing like a whip.

"Oh!" I could feel the tears in my eyes.

"Not everyone wants to be friends with a boring bookworm who obsesses over Taylor Swift and clings to her friends!" Lanie fought.

"Well, you say that like everyone enjoys being around a pea-brained environmentalist who only cares about how much fertilizer her garden gets or how much positive energy is around her stupid houseplants!" I fought back.

"Gracelynne McCartney, GO AWAY! I HATE YOU!" Lanie bellowed.

I kicked over her potted tree as I exited the room.

I stormed up lto my bedroom. I shoved past Bailey on my way up.

"Woah, who called in tornado patrol?" Bailey teased.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." I snapped.

I climbed up the hatches to my bedroom and kicked my wall. I pushed all my photos of Lanie and me off my besides table and onto the floor and stamped on them. I ripped them to pieces and threw them in the garbage.

Finally, I got to the note she gave me for my birthday.

Hey Gracie!

I luv you sooo much! We will be besties for everrr! :)

Happy Birthday!

Love,

Lanie

I shoved it under my mattress and sat down at my desk.

I hate her. I hate her. I can't stand her! Oh, I need to trash her room! That will show her! Ugh, I hate her so much!

All my evil thoughts were telling me to trash her bedroom and ruin her stuff.

Which, I totally did.

I'm done with Lanie. If she's gonna blow me off for someone who we barely know.

Ugh. I hate her.

~Grace~

Hateful Feelings

Erin HAS forgotten this blog. :( It's like she doesn't even notice it's here. HELLO, THE STORY OF TWINS!? Not The Story Of GRACE!

Sorry I'm so sour. If you read Bethie's blog, last night I scavenged through Ma's bedroom and found ZERO signs of Ruthie and Ma's dolls didn't give much evidence.

Aaah. I feel so bad.

"It's all Ma's fault!" Lanie ranted after I explained what had happened. "She's too cruel and evil to realize that Erin will be CRUSHED! No, she'll realize it, but she'd be laughing! Oh, that's what she'd do! Erin would sit there, trying to be polite and not be upset, but clearly she'd be unhappy, and Ma would be LAUGHING! Oh, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I HATE HER!" Lanie kicked the bed.
''Lanie, relax." I touched her arm. "It's okay to be angry, but don't take it out on Ma."
"I have every right to take it out on Ma! Because of her, she's going to ruin Erin's birthday! Do you know how LONG it would take Erin to earn the money for Ruthie?! It's hard enough for her to earn money for New York City, and she doesn't even know if she's getting a doll there! Hate, hate hate!" Lanie shrieked.
"So what if we don't get Ruthie?"
"That's easy for YOU to say! Ever since I arrived here, YOU are the only person who's really befriended me! Everyone else pushed me away and didn't want to be my friend! I keep on thinking maybe Ruthie will be different! And maybe she will! But we'll never know now that Erin's not getting her!" Lanie screamed. The tears trickled down her flushed cheeks.
"Oh, Lanie." I hugged her. "I didn't know getting Ruthie was this important to you."
She wrapped her arms around me. "I'm sorry I'm so angry. It's just, it's so hard to be the different girl at school."
"What do you mean?" I asked. She sat down on the bed. I sat next to her.
"Well, before you arrived in February, I was miserable. Everyone called me a nerd for doing so well in Science and knowing about all the plant names and animal species. I was so upset. Nobody would be my friend. I know that Bethie would have been nice to me, but she didn't go to school. I sat alone at lunch everyday. I tried to make friends, but everyone pushed me away. Not even my friends in garden club were nice to me. They called me a know-it-all and threw dirt at me. I was so sad and unhappy, but when you came along, and you were so kind to me, I was thrilled. I had a friend, and I liked it. It made me want to have more, but since nobody wanted to be my friend at school, I was happy with having just you. When I heard about Ruthie, I got so excited. Maybe she would be my friend." Lanie explained, the tears slipping down her cheeks.
I hugged her. "I didn't know I meant that much to you, Lanie."
"You mean the world to me, Grace. Your the Swiftie that makes my world go around, and I couldn't imagine life without you." 'Swifties' are what Lanie called Taylor Swift fans.

I felt so dirty and disgusting now that I had this chat with Lanie. Last night, Ma had held me and kissed me and hugged me, and now I feel filthy. I can't stand to see the bilge of garbage called grandparents that make up for un-bought birthday presents by kissing little girl's dolls and playing with little boy's toys. It makes me SICKENED to see the filthy wretch of elders who find it amusing to ruin children's birthdays. Would the appreciate it if their families didn't get them what THEY wanted for their birthday? No, they would not. In fact, they'd probably cause a whole ruckus because of it, since my unofficial stats show 67% of family celebrations revolve around grandparents. I feel as though I have betrayed my family by allowing the ancestors of my beloved Erin show affection towards me.

Does that make sense to you? Sorry, when I'm mad I get literary.

~Gracie~

A Sad Celebration

Kay. So you've probably heard it from Erin a gazillion and six times, but Kristy was eliminated from AGMA.

This sounds sooooo mean..... but YAY!

Now I know what you're all thinking.

"Why Gracelynne? How could you be so cruel?"

Dude.

I'm happy Kristy got eliminated from AGMA because Erin can compete again. And when she competes again she's entering a certain red-haired beauty!

NO, NOT FELICITY.

Meeeh! Yesh, Erin is entering MOI, Gracelynne Margaret Rose McCartney, nicknamed Grace, Gracie, THE GRACE and Graceanator. [the last two from my twin, Erin]

Lanie is sooo proud of me.

"I knew you could do it, Grace!" Lanie cheered jubiliantly once we reached my bedroom.

"I know, I know." I sighed, a little sadly. Being excited because my sister was eliminated is just plain MEAN.

"Gracie! Are you blind?! Kristy got eliminated for a REASON! It's called karma!" Lanie convinced me.

"What are you saying...?"

"I'm SAYING that she got eliminated because of all the times she's been mean to us!"

"Well, I guess. But I'm not even going to make it past the auditions, let alone win the whole game." I sighed, my voice sinking lower with every word.

"ARE YOU BLIND AND DEAF?!" Lanie bellowed. "You're THE GRACE! You can do ANYTHING!" Lanie grabbed my shoulders and shook me.

"But.... Erin.....Sonali....cheese curls...... graham crackers......GAH!" I sputtered.

"Chill." Lanie rested on Kit's bed. "You've got this modeling crap IN THE BAG." She snatched up a mirror and shoved my face in it's view.

"You see that girl in there?" Lanie questioned me.

"Yes." I gulped.

"Who is she?"

"The Grace." I stuttered.

"She is not THE GRACE." Lanie said stern. "She's you, Gracelynne Margaret Rose McCartney. And she's the next model for AGClayMakers."

"But..."

"You're worth it, Gracelynne." Lanie looked at me with meaningful hazel-green eyes. I smiled and hugged her.

Lanie was right.

~Grace~